I don't have the balls to actually send these to him, but I can still post them here. I'm working out my thought as we are. PS: I went to acupressure massage and acupuncture today and the lady told me I was a "little fat." and to diet.
Great!
Hi Willy:
How are you? I just wanted to write to you because that's what I do best I think, write and articulate my thoughts in writing. It just flows. Truthfully, I can't even muster up the courage to dial your number because somehow, I feel like for the first time in my life, I would not know what to say, if you answered.
It's been two weeks since we talked and I admit that the days are kind of grey lately and they just pass and flow into one another. It's kind of surreal. I feel like meeting you and spending time with you was a long dream. Kind of like it never happened, yet visceral. I can feel you, and hear your voice and stuff, but I'm not sure if I made it up.
I'm deeply hurt, not because of anything you did or did not say or do, I guess just because I realize that right now, based on whatever you're thinking and our unfortunate circumstance, we can't be.
You didn't pick up the phone on your birthday!
How could you not pick up the phone on your birthday to talk to me? The only thing wanted to do on my birthday was talk to you. I didn't want anything else and you saw me calling and you didn't pick up.
That breaks my heart....
No comments:
Post a Comment