Circumstance

The last few days have been trying and I find myself tearing up and bursting into tears for no reason. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, I guess. So I feel silly feeling sadness or crying or showing any emotion that is remotely not positive. But there is giant hole in my heart again. I can't imagine not seeing him again or smelling his skin or tasting his kisses. This really sucks.

All because of circumstance?

I miss him terribly. I was listening to songs that we love last night and just thinking that maybe he'll re-think circumstance, give feeling something scary a chance and call me to tell me that he is coming and staying with me. He hasn't called me in two days and since we ended on a pretty serious note of let's think and discuss this, I'm not expecting anything. I am so sad and feel helpless right now. I can't drive over to see him, I have no physical photos to hold ..just songs and a necklace he gave me.

But.

I am fighting for love. I gave up everything that was deemed secure, stable, serene, honest, and logical for love. I know that there is someone who will be ridiculously in love with me the same way I love them. It'll change, it'll get stronger or weaker and then evolve again, but it is possible. I believe in it!