The Divinyls

Instead of thinking about the harsh reality that I might never see you again, I am thinking about the speck of time (the tiny blink-of-an-eye time) that we got to spend together..so short, but SO GOOD!!!


Don't let our gold mine plans slip away, anything is possible.

Letter One

I don't have the balls to actually send these to him, but I can still post them here. I'm working out my thought as we are. PS: I went to acupressure massage and acupuncture today and the lady told me I was a "little fat." and to diet.

Great!

Hi Willy:

How are you? I just wanted to write to you because that's what I do best I think, write and articulate my thoughts in writing. It just flows. Truthfully, I can't even muster up the courage to dial your number because somehow, I feel like for the first time in my life, I would not know what to say, if you answered.

It's been two weeks since we talked and I admit that the days are kind of grey lately and they just pass and flow into one another. It's kind of surreal. I feel like meeting you and spending time with you was a long dream. Kind of like it never happened, yet visceral. I can feel you, and hear your voice and stuff, but I'm not sure if I made it up.

I'm deeply hurt, not because of anything you did or did not say or do, I guess just because I realize that right now, based on whatever you're thinking and our unfortunate circumstance, we can't be.

You didn't pick up the phone on your birthday!

How could you not pick up the phone on your birthday to talk to me? The only thing wanted to do on my birthday was talk to you. I didn't want anything else and you saw me calling and you didn't pick up.

That breaks my heart....

Circumstance

The last few days have been trying and I find myself tearing up and bursting into tears for no reason. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, I guess. So I feel silly feeling sadness or crying or showing any emotion that is remotely not positive. But there is giant hole in my heart again. I can't imagine not seeing him again or smelling his skin or tasting his kisses. This really sucks.

All because of circumstance?

I miss him terribly. I was listening to songs that we love last night and just thinking that maybe he'll re-think circumstance, give feeling something scary a chance and call me to tell me that he is coming and staying with me. He hasn't called me in two days and since we ended on a pretty serious note of let's think and discuss this, I'm not expecting anything. I am so sad and feel helpless right now. I can't drive over to see him, I have no physical photos to hold ..just songs and a necklace he gave me.

But.

I am fighting for love. I gave up everything that was deemed secure, stable, serene, honest, and logical for love. I know that there is someone who will be ridiculously in love with me the same way I love them. It'll change, it'll get stronger or weaker and then evolve again, but it is possible. I believe in it!

Brunch at Cafe Medina

I had the most amazing brunch today at Cafe Medina. I have heard people raving about it and about 10:45am the line-ups did start, seriously silly line-ups. Nini and James were there with the critters and we sat outside. James had a roast beef breakfast sandwich and a deliriously good waffle with dark chocolate. Nini had a pistachio white chocolate waffle and a soft boiled egg. I had the waffle, so fluffy and sweet, with lavender milk chocolate sauce on the side and a La Sante. The waffle was gooey and warm, super sweet and tender. It almost looked like it had sugar and butter inside it. Mouthwatering.

La Sante was a soft boiled egg, prosciutto, tomatoes and olives, and two avocado slices with toasted baguette. Yumm. The only downer on our sunshiny day? The service was awful. The waiter was not organized, spilled my egg shells on me (in my napkin) and forgot to bring more napkins. But company and food was great.

Yeah, to Medina. 556 Beatty St. (beside Chambar) 604-879-3114